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| + | All you need to know about Julia is that she's 110% fucking Angelique, not only that but they're a real thing a couple. it's canon you fuckers. There's so many loopholes that are filled with the likes of Julique if you just watch the film closely, darlings. |
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| − | Guis she's a real hood rat, her hood nickname is orange pubes but she chose a brazillian cos angie likes it better |
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| − | * dR. Julia stick it in Hoffman iis a psychiatrist and a druggie who deals with barny her main g and Beth ennit whilst living at [[Collinwood (2012)|Collinwood]] while treating young [http://darkshadows.wikia.com/wiki/David_Collins_(2012)?action=edit&redlink=1 David Collins], who is believed by the Collins family to be suffering from a constant boner. It is stated by [http://darkshadows.wikia.com/wiki/Elizabeth_Collins_Stoddard_(2012)?action=edit&redlink=1 Elizabeth Collins Stoddard] that Dr. Hoffman was recruited to live on the premises for a month to help David recover form fucking her bc it was just that fucking good but that as of [http://darkshadows.wikia.com/wiki/Victoria_Winters_(2012) Victoria Winters]' arrival at the mansion in 1972, was gon bc he thought she was smoking |
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| − | The signature red hair of [http://darkshadows.wikia.com/wiki/Grayson_Hall Grayson Hall]'s classic series character is exagerrated in this version by use of a bright primary red hair color, along with heightened use of mascara and other makeup cos she's a cake and it helps stops the look of the effects of drugs and it also Partially reflecting the film's 1972 setting because everyone dressed like a skank anyway, the character dresses in similarly bright-colored "mod" prints for much of the film bc she has no fashion sense and she looks the same high anyway so fuck off. Unlike prior depictions of the character, this version of Julia Hoffman is presented as a late-sleeping, pill-popping chronic drinker and probable alcoholic and druggie who gets on with the hood rats ennit, she enjoys 3 somes with Angie and getting toked She complains of symptoms of a hangover and is often shown with her favorite bong, Angie's clit. |
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| − | [[File:392988_10150739131810479_652175478_11723844_1344718528_n.jpg|thumb|290px]]When introduced to Julia for the first time during the film, [http://darkshadows.wikia.com/wiki/Johnny_Depp Johnny Depp]'s [[Barnabas Collins (2012)|Barny]] newly fycjed from his mums pussy of confinement of nearly two centuries, marvels at the fact of a fit af doctor, one of many modern phenomena to which he is being newly exposed, as well as confoms sono more mistakes aye barny. She, in turn, demands to know of Barnabas (who is much less human in appearance and much less reticent about his true nature than in the classic series), "Who the hell is this? Is he for real?" na and she also gives him a bj bc it's quick dick ennit |
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| − | Unlike the methods of deduction used in the original series, the 2012 film version of Dr. Hoffman uses hypnosis to quickly uncover the fact of Barnabas' vampiric nature bc she's high af all the time and thinks more whe toked After initially reacting with panic and anger at the danger he might pose, she is persuaded by [http://darkshadows.wikia.com/wiki/Elizabeth_Collins_Stoddard_(2012)?action=edit&redlink=1 Elizabeth Collins Stoddard] to keep her discovery secret and approach Barnabas<nowiki>' plight with scientific "fascination.''</nowiki> and also bang eachother cos k. |
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| − | As in the original series, Dr. Hoffman initially undertakes to free Barnabas from [http://darkshadows.wikia.com/wiki/Angelique_Bouchard_(2012)?action=edit&redlink=1 Angelique]'s curse with a series of blood transfusions. AND THEN she blows him hard and he cums his little swimmers but it tatses like burnt raman noodles |
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| − | Angie made her immortal so they could fuc all the tiome |
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| − | Julia's limp body is wrapped in a weighted canvas bc she was banged wway too hard and she can't walk but it's k bc totally canon people like to pet her kitten if u get my drift. |
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| − | Julia and Angie love eachother so k fuck off tim burton you burnt fore |
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| − | [http://darkshadows.wikia.com/wiki/Matthew_Hall?action=edit&redlink=1 Matthew Hall]<span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);line-height:20px;"> </span>, son of the original Julia, [http://darkshadows.wikia.com/wiki/Grayson_Hall Grayson Hall], and also one of the writers on the [[Dark Shadows (1991)|1991 revival series]], has observed in blog comments ([http://msbhall.wordpress.com/ http://msbhall.wordpress.com]) on the film that the movie "conflates [original series] Julia’s knowledge of Barnabas’ vampirism with the Elizabeth Collins Stoddard role," making Elizabeth the staunch ally to Barnabas that Julia had been in the original series and perhaps making the film's Julia more expendable as one of Barnabas' victims. He goes on to say that while he enjoyed Tim Burton’s movie, Burton "does trash Julia into near-unrecognizability. (My mother, short and fat and drinking anything besides black tea first thing in the morning? Sorry, you must have the wrong Dr. Hoffman.)" |
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| − | ==Trivia== |
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| − | Helena Bonham Carter herself played a [[witch|Witch]], and spectacularly evil one, in the '''''Harry Potter''''' films, namely Bellatrix Lestrange. She also was previously murdered on screen by Johnny Depp in the motion picture '''''Sweeney Todd'''''. |
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[[Category:Dark Shadows (2012) Characters]] |
[[Category:Dark Shadows (2012) Characters]] |
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[[Category:Vampires]] |
[[Category:Vampires]] |
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Revision as of 02:11, 11 January 2017
All you need to know about Julia is that she's 110% fucking Angelique, not only that but they're a real thing a couple. it's canon you fuckers. There's so many loopholes that are filled with the likes of Julique if you just watch the film closely, darlings.